HOW I LOST MY FAITH
I want to thank all the friends that have read the original post on the subject.
It was a show of consideration for having the patience to read that enormous message until the end and of understanding for I have not been insulted as blasphemous.
Like I said, my goal is not to debate with anyone, prove my point of view is more rational or make anyone change their opinion. The only thing that prompted me to write was the desire to understand their thinking and reasons that led to this.
For 3 years I studied philosophy at the classic high school Colegio Pedro II, 50 years ago. This marked my personality and I deeply learned to try to understand the thinking of each and draw my own conclusions, without accepting dogmas, charges or claims sacred and untouchable.
I say that my personality had a profound impact because it was fully controlled by a religious upbringing too severe, a real brainwashing that was imposed on me from an early age. I was two years old when my parents joined the "Rosicrucian Fellowship", where we went all week-ends immaculately dressed in white and we watched a lecture given by Irene, the spiritual leader of the group.
We were studying the book "Rosicrucian Cosmo" and learned that we had the physical body, the desire body, the mental body, etc.. each inhabiting their world, physical world, a world of desire, the mental world, etc.. Sure they were seven, the typical account of the liar.
We could not eat any animal products. Neither flesh nor fish nor fowl. Only milk and eggs.
There were many dogmas, such as reincarnation and the spiritual hierarchy and Irene was a highly evolved spirit who had the power to see and converse with spirits and read the thoughts of all people.
Sex, alcohol, etc were very serious offenses and unforgivable in the eyes of God.
I studied hard doctrine and I remember a time when it fell to me the task to talk to other children when I was ten years old. I chose to talk about the relationship that I perceived between electricity and the world of desire, something new and that had never been contemplated. Irene liked it so much I had to repeat my lecture and Irene summoned all adults to attend and to follow that example. I was so proud!
But I always carried with me the ultimate question: Was that all true or not?
At twelve years old, I had a bright idea. Since Irene could read the thoughts of all (and therefore everybody controlled their thoughts), I purposely decided to have the dirtier, lower, more sinful thoughts that I could imagine at a meeting of those. I have no courage to repeat here what I thought but you can imagine the dirtier, more porn, more repugnant things that you can. That's what I thought.
Irene was in the pulpit and we all sat on the benches and I pretending that I was paying much attention to what was said, but with my mind wallowing in mud.
I thought, it is not possible that she is reading my thoughts and do not interrupt me or call me for a chat after the ceremony.
I anxiously waited and nothing happened!
It was a disappointment for me and the realization that it was all a lie!
I started to attend hid from my parents the cafeteria "Palleta" where I always asked hot-dogs and other meat dishes and continued to attend the Society in respect to my parents until I was 16 when my father was convinced that that was all lie and we retreat from the Rosicrucian Fellowship.
Since the 12 years I know that was a lie all that we studied and we were taught, but brainwashing is very, very difficult indeed to surpass.
They taught that all life experiences were accumulated in the current "perispirit", an astral copy of the physical body and that it was linked to the physical body by the "silver cord". After death, these experiences were relayed to the spirit of perispirit by the silver cord for 3 days.
Thus, if a person died carbonized or was cremated, he wold loose all the life experiences that just ended.
You may not believe, but until today I'm afraid to choose cremation rather than burial, because I get nervous and insecure.
I know it's all bullshit and lies, but I can not avoid that feeling!
So I made a point to raise my children without influence in choosing a religion for them.
Children are too immature to have this or that religion. We can talk about children of parents Catholics, Protestants, Jews, etc.. But never about Catholic, Protestant or Jewish children.
Likewise, why in Brazil the majority of the population is Christian, is Muslim in Saudi Arabia or Buddhist in Tibet? Even as adults, we have no free choice. We are programmed robots.
Regards,
Alzir Fraga
It was a show of consideration for having the patience to read that enormous message until the end and of understanding for I have not been insulted as blasphemous.
Like I said, my goal is not to debate with anyone, prove my point of view is more rational or make anyone change their opinion. The only thing that prompted me to write was the desire to understand their thinking and reasons that led to this.
For 3 years I studied philosophy at the classic high school Colegio Pedro II, 50 years ago. This marked my personality and I deeply learned to try to understand the thinking of each and draw my own conclusions, without accepting dogmas, charges or claims sacred and untouchable.
I say that my personality had a profound impact because it was fully controlled by a religious upbringing too severe, a real brainwashing that was imposed on me from an early age. I was two years old when my parents joined the "Rosicrucian Fellowship", where we went all week-ends immaculately dressed in white and we watched a lecture given by Irene, the spiritual leader of the group.
We were studying the book "Rosicrucian Cosmo" and learned that we had the physical body, the desire body, the mental body, etc.. each inhabiting their world, physical world, a world of desire, the mental world, etc.. Sure they were seven, the typical account of the liar.
We could not eat any animal products. Neither flesh nor fish nor fowl. Only milk and eggs.
There were many dogmas, such as reincarnation and the spiritual hierarchy and Irene was a highly evolved spirit who had the power to see and converse with spirits and read the thoughts of all people.
Sex, alcohol, etc were very serious offenses and unforgivable in the eyes of God.
I studied hard doctrine and I remember a time when it fell to me the task to talk to other children when I was ten years old. I chose to talk about the relationship that I perceived between electricity and the world of desire, something new and that had never been contemplated. Irene liked it so much I had to repeat my lecture and Irene summoned all adults to attend and to follow that example. I was so proud!
But I always carried with me the ultimate question: Was that all true or not?
At twelve years old, I had a bright idea. Since Irene could read the thoughts of all (and therefore everybody controlled their thoughts), I purposely decided to have the dirtier, lower, more sinful thoughts that I could imagine at a meeting of those. I have no courage to repeat here what I thought but you can imagine the dirtier, more porn, more repugnant things that you can. That's what I thought.
Irene was in the pulpit and we all sat on the benches and I pretending that I was paying much attention to what was said, but with my mind wallowing in mud.
I thought, it is not possible that she is reading my thoughts and do not interrupt me or call me for a chat after the ceremony.
I anxiously waited and nothing happened!
It was a disappointment for me and the realization that it was all a lie!
I started to attend hid from my parents the cafeteria "Palleta" where I always asked hot-dogs and other meat dishes and continued to attend the Society in respect to my parents until I was 16 when my father was convinced that that was all lie and we retreat from the Rosicrucian Fellowship.
Since the 12 years I know that was a lie all that we studied and we were taught, but brainwashing is very, very difficult indeed to surpass.
They taught that all life experiences were accumulated in the current "perispirit", an astral copy of the physical body and that it was linked to the physical body by the "silver cord". After death, these experiences were relayed to the spirit of perispirit by the silver cord for 3 days.
Thus, if a person died carbonized or was cremated, he wold loose all the life experiences that just ended.
You may not believe, but until today I'm afraid to choose cremation rather than burial, because I get nervous and insecure.
I know it's all bullshit and lies, but I can not avoid that feeling!
So I made a point to raise my children without influence in choosing a religion for them.
Children are too immature to have this or that religion. We can talk about children of parents Catholics, Protestants, Jews, etc.. But never about Catholic, Protestant or Jewish children.
Likewise, why in Brazil the majority of the population is Christian, is Muslim in Saudi Arabia or Buddhist in Tibet? Even as adults, we have no free choice. We are programmed robots.
Regards,
Alzir Fraga
alzirfraga@gmail.com
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